Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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