some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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