and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
