i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Who died my cat blue again?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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