Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
