I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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