wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
