38 yer olds are good kisserssss
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
