The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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