I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think people are normalizing furries
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
