they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
