dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
