i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
