He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
