He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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