He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
