Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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