two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
