It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
