Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
