Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
