And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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