Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
