Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
