they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
