just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
