hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
