we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
