some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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