so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
