Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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