If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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