i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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