what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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