My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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