now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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