I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
