When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
