If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
