turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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