I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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