I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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