Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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