i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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