Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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