she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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