She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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