sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
