my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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