I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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