Pappa wants mamma naked
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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